Another dose of Sardarji jokes

2 sardaron ko 2 bomb mile.
1st Sardar: chal police ko de k aate hain.
2nd Sardar: agar koi bomb raaste me phat gaya to?
1st Sardar: jhoot bol denge ki 1 hi mila tha...

Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phaasi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
Police: Kyon hasn rahe ho?
Sardar: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hun.

Sardar to doctor: Mujhe 1 problem hai.
Doctor: Kya?
Sardar: Baat karte waqt aadmi dikhai nahi deta.
Doctor: aisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt

Man: Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kya karte ho?
Sardar: AC ke paas ja ke baith jata hun.
Man: Agar phir bhi garmi lage to?
Sardar: To A/C on kar leta hun...

A sardar prays daily for 2 hours, "He Vahe Guru meri lottery lagade."
After 11 years Vahe Guruji angrily appeared & said, "Khoti de puttar 1 vari ticket to le le"...

Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella me hole kyun? Sardar bola, Oye baarish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega...

Hitler says, "There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary."
Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? Jub (dictionary) kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na"...

Sardar: Yaar mujhe 1 hathora or keel chahiye computer ke liye.
Sales man: Magar computer me inka kya kaam?
Sardar: Oye yaar mujhe computer me windows lagani hai.

1st Sardar: oye agar neend na aaye to kya kia jaaye?
2nd Sardar: Neend ka intizar karne se achha hai ki banda so hi jaye...

1 sardar rail ki patri per so gaya. 1 aadmi ne kaha, "Kya kar rahe ho? Train aayegi to mar jaoge!"
Sardar: Mere uper se hawai jahaaz guzar gaya to kuch nahi hua, train kya cheez hai?...

In biology practical exam, examiner asks Sardar: Tell me the name of this bird by seeing only its legs.
Sardar: I don't know.
Examiner: You are failed, what's your name?
Sardar: See my legs & tell my name...

Racism - a fantastic incident. Worth reading!

This scene took place on a British Airways flight between Johannesburg, South Africa & London... A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man.

Very disturbed by this, she called the air hostess. "You obviously do not see it then?" she asked, "You placed me next to a black man. I did not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group... Give me an alternative seat."

"Be calm please," the hostess replied, "almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available."

The hostess went away & then came back a few minutes later. "Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in Economy Class. I spoke to the captain & he informed me that there is also no seat in Business Class. All the same, we still have one place in First Class."

Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued. "It is not usual for our company to permit someone from Economy Class to sit in First Class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting."

The Hostess turned to the black guy & said, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in First Class..."

At that moment, the other passengers, who were quite shocked by what they had just witnessed, stood up & applauded.

WELL DONE, British Airways!!!

Truth can be funny too!

I have learned that truth can, instead of being bitter, be funny too! Check this out...

I have learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in!

I have learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes...

I have learned that it takes years to build trust; it takes just a suspicion and not even proof to destroy it!

I have learned that you should not compare yourself with others. They are more screwed up than you think.

I have learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I have learned that 99% of the time something (like gadget / applicance) is not working in your home, your kid has done it!

I have learned that people you care the most about in your life go away from you in a very short time; lesser important ones just never go away!

:)

Do not lose faith in yourself - True story

It's my true story. This is the first time I am ever writing about myself, about my own life. Just because I felt the need to interact with my readers. To let them know what I am doing in my life... Friends, I am a Knowledge Manager by profession and work in one of the multinationals in Mumbai, India. If you want to talk to me, please drop me a mail and I promise I will get back to you soon.

Friends, last 3-4 weeks have been one of my worst times... Seriously... I am not kidding! It was a rough patch in my life and I was simply not in the mood to do anything, not even blogging!

Towards the end of February, I was dragged into useless gossip in my office. Though I was involved by force, people who matter in office took it in wrong sense and the whole world changed for me. People started neglecting me in office. My so called good-friends did not bother to talk me. We used to always have lunch together and if someone was busy we used to wait for him/her so that we get a good 30 minutes of stress-free chat at the lunch table. It all changed - no one wanted me to accompany them for lunch...

I felt really bad. I can't express my frustration in words, but believe me it is definitely not a happy moment for anyone. I consulted my wife and she suggested that I should also avoid making any efforts to patch up with these "friends". I should find new friends, talk to them, go to lunch with them, etc. I should continue doing it for some days and she assured that things will change for good. I, first of all, doubted this strategy but as I had no options, I started following it. And believe me, now after almost 3 weeks, things have really changed for good!

Those very friends now talk to me all by themselves, ask me for lunch, take me along with them and what not... I don't know what miracle might have happened but I am happy. I have not lost my dignity and at the same time, I have regained my respect! In fact, I feel it has increased!! So I am back to blogging and I am back with a bang... So friends, the motto of the whole story is: Do not lose faith in yourself!